Title: Just Like This (1/5)
Author: breea1
Rating: R
Category: J/J AU kid!fic
Disclaimer: Not mine, not a one.
Summary: Jared's young, free and single – and finds when Jensen Ackles and his three devil children move in next door that he doesn't want to be. Jensen just wants to be left alone and find some peace.
Author's note: I tried. I'm not too sure about this whole RPS thing, but it turns out I've been hooked. First weighty fic in absolute years, so if it sucks then I apologise. Just delete and move on

Just Like This

~*~*~*~

When Jared Padalecki gave any thought to finally meeting the love of his life - which, as he was a young, attractive have fun live-in-the-moment kind of guy wasn't all that often - he never really considered seeing him for the first time yelling at three little kids, sweating up a storm and lugging boxes from a broken down pick-up into an even more broken down house, but damned if that wasn't what happened. Jared had arrived home from the set a little earlier than usual that day, shooting having gone well and the light a little too good to really be convincing for the much needed twilight shoot of him single-handedly beating down ten feral demons, and he was looking forward to sucking down a cold one, grabbing a burger and then having a good soak in his tub before heading out to suck down a few more cold ones and maybe pick up a little action for the night.

He'd bounced out of his jeep without really registering the strange truck parked outside the neighbouring house to his, but his attention was caught by the high pitched squeal of excitement as a kid of uncertain sex launching itself off the wrap around veranda of the old Brown place and heading at speed down the overgrown path. "Dad, this is so cool, there's like a massive spider in the bathroom and Kate's screaming like a total wuss 'cos she thinks its gonna, like, kill her or something! Seriously!"

"Scott, dude, give me a break, huh?" The low, stressed out voice had all Jared's attention snapping from the kid - and seriously, Scott, with that hair? - and focusing on the man that was wiggling back butt first from the rear of the pick-up, wrestling what looked to be one of many huge packing crates in a long line judging from the pile already on the much neglected lawn. "Whack it with a broom or something and go save your sister, kinda busy here."

Even from a distance of ten yards Jared could see the expressive eye roll Scott gave under his way too long bangs. "Dad, she's gonna like pee herself or something; seriously, you gotta see this."

"Scott!" The level of frustration in the man's voice reached whole new levels as he continued his butt wiggle, much to Jared's ever lasting appreciation and gratitude, and he cursed explosively when he slipped and his knee thudded with harsh force against the side of the truck. "For chrissake, get out of the damn way and go help your sister or when I get this box out I swear I'll make you pee yourself!"

"Da-aaad!" Jared gritted his teeth against the long drawn out wail, because, that, right there, was every reason and then some that he'd never wanted kids of his own. "Da-aaad, come on, this totally pays her out for frogging my lunch pack last week!"

"SCOTT!" The bellow impressed the hell out of Jared - even more than the ass - but it would remain a mystery as to whether it impressed Scott because at that moment the front door of the old Brown house banged again and two more filthy little urchins shot out and barreled out towards their much put upon father with even more ear splitting squeals than their brother.

"Daddy, daddy, Scott threw a TARANTULA at me and locked me in the bathroom!" Jared cocked an amused eyebrow and watched as a vision in dirt streaked pink t-shirt, jeans and what looked like a healthy smearing of snot hurled herself past her smirking brother and right into the back of her father's thighs. The loud and indignant OOF as the unfortunate man lost his balance again and crashed face first back into the rear of the truck had Jared chuckling out loud, but the sight of the last child - proudly holding aloft something in his chubby little fist - had him breaking out into a full on belly laugh.

Clearly younger than his two siblings by some years and with only a very soggy diaper and one sock covering his stocky body, the obvious baby of the family crowed delightedly, "'Pider! I got it! I killed it!" and grabbed hold of his sister's leg and tried to hoist himself up to shove it in her hand and presumably reassure her that the threat had been effectively neutralised. "Its dead! I killed it!"

If Jared thought the previous shrieks had been ear-splitting then clearly he had a lot to learn because the one the girl gave in response to the toddler's enthusiastic reassurances pretty much rattled all the windows in the neighbourhood.

"Jesus Christ!" The owner of the fine looking ass finally managed to push himself upright and turned awkwardly around, grimacing when his daughter wailed again and head butted him in the groin in her frantic bid to escape her younger sibling and then scowling when he caught side of his eldest son rolling in hysterical laughter on the floor, clutching his belly with both hands and kicking his heels gleefully. "Scotty, I swear to God....oh for chrissakes, Danny, what is it?" There was a brief pause and then...."FUCK!"

And Jared Padalecki had the singular experience of knowing that at three fifteen on Tuesday the fifth of June he fell ass over tea kettle, totally and for all time in love with his next door neighbour when the prettiest eyes he'd ever seen widened comically and the hysterical girl-child was shaken off their owner's leg and said owner scrambled desperately away from his children yelling frantically, "Christ, that's huge! Danny, put it down, put it down! PUT IT DOWN!"

~*~*~*~

It took some time, but order was eventually restored and Jared judged it a good moment to introduce himself when the object of his lustful attentions had his three miscreants lined up before him and was delivering a heated speech on why they were the worst three kids in the world ever and the minute he got himself together enough to find the key to the basement they were being locked down there with nothing but bread and water for the next twenty years and, seriously Kate, not a goddamned tarantula!

Jared strolled up just as Mr Hottie was winding up for his big finish - apparently cable and 'net time was being ruthlessly stripped before they'd even been switched on - and fixed a friendly grin on his face as he stuck out his hand. "Hey there, name's Jared, I'm guessing you're my new neighbours?" And then found himself blinking when four people suddenly melted into two and he found himself staring down into a pair of cool, wary eyes. Still very pretty ones though. He dropped his hand when it became apparent when Mr Hottie wasn't going to shake it and chose to believe it was because of the toddler he'd scooped up and now held close to his chest like a cross between a shield and a security blanket. "Uh, hi."

Hottie stared up at him for a moment, well-defined jaw line tense and then nodded shortly. "Hi."

Jared tried the friendly grin again when Kate and Scott's heads appeared on either side of their father's hips, staring up at him just as warily as their daddy. "Hey there, was wonderin' where you'd disappeared too. How's it goin'?" His grin turned decidedly uncomfortable when both kids stared silently at him and then the boy's lip curled in a belligerent sneer. "So, uh, just wanted to say welcome to the neighbourhood. You're gonna love it here." He tried flashing one of his extra special, never failed him charming grins at Kate. "Not counting the tarantulas, of course."

Which was a bad, bad thing to say. Kate's eyes widened, her mouth opened and she bellowed in a fifty/fifty split of outrage and panic, "Dad-deee, you said. You said it wasn't a tarantula, you said!"

Jerking back in reflex, Jared spread his hands in appeal, desperate to ward off the lethal glare Hottie was now directing at him and more shrieks from the child. "Hey, no, come on. I was joking! Just kidding. No tarantulas here, promise!" He took a step closer and then stopped when all of the family jerked away from him and the shrieks from Kate abruptly shut off. Frowning and wondering why they were all staring at him like he was a cross between Jack the Ripper and Attila the Hun, Jared repeated lamely, "I was just kidding."

Keeping his eyes on Jared, Hottie bent to carefully lower his youngest child to the floor and said quietly, "You guys go inside the house, okay? Take Danny and get him cleaned up, I'll be there in a minute."

Eyes flicking between Jared and his father, Scott edged into view with his sister in one hand and reaching for his brother with the other. "Dad?" The tone was striving for cool, but even Jared's much abused and inexperienced ears could detect the slight tremble. "Dad, maybe we should stay."

Hottie smiled tightly and reached back to ruffle his son's dirty hair. "S'okay, kid, go on now. I'll be right there." He shifted to put himself between the children and Jared as they reluctantly began to walk away, darting worried looks back over their shoulder the whole time, and folded his arms over his sweaty torso. "Sorry for disturbing you but you know how stressful moving can be at the best of times. They're just kids, I'll keep a tighter rein on them."

Jared frowned at the tense tone of voice, unease shivering down his spine at what seemed for a moment to be almost a plea rather than an apology and then he cocked his head and smiled gently. "Hey, no problem, I wasn't complaining. Just wanted to introduce myself." He let his gaze skip lightening fast down long legs and tight torso and then focused on that defined, closed off face. "Lets start again. Jared Padalecki." He held out his hand. "I'm pleased to meet you."

It looked for a moment as if the offered hand was going to go unrecognised again, but finally Hottie unfolded his arms and slowly stretched out his own hand and seemly reluctantly offered his name. "Jensen Ackles." The grip of his hand was dry despite his exertions and recent bug trauma and he withdrew it almost before Jared's fingers had finished closing.

They stared at each other silently for a moment before Jared said uncertainly, "Cute kids."

Jensen, almost impossibly, tensed even more and then offered another short nod. "Thanks."

Increasingly regretting his impulse to extend a welcome to the neighbourhood - and rather less selflessly scope out the hottie - Jared tried another smile. "Their mom in the house?"

If Jensen had been closed off before, suddenly he seemed impregnable. "Its just us." He backed up a step, shooting a look over his shoulder and scowling when he saw his kids standing in an unhappy bunch on the porch and watching the two men silently. "I gotta go."

"Oh, hey, yeah." Utterly perplexed by the sudden, and rather brusque, dismissal, Jared raised a hand in farewell. "So, uh, maybe when you get settled you might want to come over for a cold one? Bring the kids. I have dogs!" The last was added in a rather desperate shout as Jensen had continued moving backwards up the path until he joined his kids on the porch and they clustered wide eyed around him.

Herding his little family towards their weathered front door, Jensen paused and looked back for a moment. "We like to keep to ourselves." And without another word he and the kids stepped inside and the door shut firmly behind them.

Jared stared for long moments and then looked at the pile of boxes abandoned on the lawn, the still open door of the truck and then back up at the house. He raised a hand to scratch helplessly at his head, face creased in an expression of complete bemusement. "What the fuck just happened here?"

~*~*~*

In the days that followed, Jared was ashamed to admit that he spent more than a little time sitting on the love seat in his bay window and watching the activity going on next door. In fact he was prepared to admit that a somewhat unhealthy obsession was beginning to develop. Unable to shake off the feeling that something was just a little off with his new neighbours he'd spent every spare minute he wasn't on set watching silently as the house next door underwent a speedy change from broken down old wreck to...well, fortress wasn't too strong a word.

The very next day after he had met Jensen and his happy little band, a landscaping truck had pulled up outside the house and within three hours the front lawn and surrounding shrubbery had been cut and stripped to within an inch of their life and a sturdy wooden fence standing four foot high and then extending to six feet once it cleared the back of the house had been thrown up and effectively and positively cut the Ackles place off from its neighbours. The sawdust had barely settled -and the landscaping truck had barely driven off - before another truck had pulled up and a small swarm of serious faced men piled out to whisk away the old rotten doors and window frames and replace them with modern equivalents that looked much more sturdy and secure than the old models. And the next day he'd arrived home just in time to witness yet another truck driving off with the name of a well known security firm emblazoned on the side and what was the old Brown place looking startled that it apparently now warranted what appeared to be a state of the art security system beeping and blinking quietly away to itself as it surveyed the front and back yards and monitored the outside of the house.

Slightly awed by the sheer speed of all the sudden activity at the house – and disappointed that he still had yet to glimpse his mysterious neighbours again – Jared had collected Sadie and Harley from the house and had jogged three times around the block, peering casually in at the newly fortified house on every pass, before gathering dusk had made him admit defeat and acknowledge that he would be unlikely to catch sight of Mr Hottie again that evening.

On the face of it he was uncertain as to why the brief meeting with Ackles and his children had affected him the way it had. Certainly, if the three kids were anything to go by, Jensen was one hundred and fifty percent straight and therefore a complete waste of time and attention. Jared had allowed himself a brief fantasy the night they had met of Jensen becoming a single father because he'd come late in life to realising his true sexuality and his wife, and mother of his children, had walked out in a fit of disgust and abandoned him to a life of lonely bachelorhood with his children until he would be discovered by his studly next door neighbour and swept off his feet and into Jared's willing arms to discover the delights of love, mano e mano. Unfortunately, in the cold light of the next morning, he ruefully concluded that was unlikely to be the case and resigned himself to running the course of having a strong attraction to a straight guy – not that it would be the first time – and relieving the inevitable tension until he was over it with either some committed self- love or in the arms of a few faceless strangers on his nights out.

God, reality versus fantasy sucked.

Pleased he was being so mature and realistic about his situation, Jared nevertheless found himself drifting more and more often to the window that overlooked what he could see of his neighbour's property and trying to catch just a glimpse of the man himself. Or, after twelve frustrating days, even a glimpse of one of his snot nosed brats just to confirm they were actually living there because, other than the hired help, not a peep could be heard from over the new fence to indicate otherwise.

In fact it wasn't until the loud thumping of pounding rock bass and the equally loud throaty roar of a large pick up truck interrupted his silent stalker-y time on the evening of day thirteen that Jared even saw another person glance at the mysterious house. The silence when the music and engine cut simultaneously was almost shocking and Jared found himself jerking up and splaying a hand against the open window when the truck doors opened simultaneously and two men jumped out.

“Jesus, Chris, what's wrong with you? He said be subtle.” Looking a little hunted, the blond half of the pairing shot a worried glance around the neighbourhood and stuck his hands in his tight, tight jeans, emphasizing the more than adequate bulge in front. Jared grinned appreciatively. Hey, he might be hopelessly in lust with his next door neighbour, but he wasn't dead. That was some fine piece of ass right there. His eyes tracked to the slightly smaller man just rounding the hood of the truck and his grin widened. And the brunette wasn't too bad either.

“Son, that was subtle.” Shoving back a hank of thick brown hair, the handsome face creased mischievously. “If I was going for obvious I woulds done something like this.” He grabbed his buddy's head and yanked it forward so their lips met forcefully and swept his tongue enthusiastically inside. He hooted with laughter when he was shoved away and winked roguishly. “Aw, baby, don't be mad. You know you're warm for my form.”

Glaring, the blond turned on his heel and stalked off up the newly trimmed and levelled path to the Ackles house. “Yeah, you ever want me to warm your form again, baby, you just keep it up.”

The brunette laughed again, eyes screwing up attractively and complained loudly, “Sugar, that's exactly what I'm tryin' to do here, I'm just looking for a little cooperation.” He started to follow his friend and then paused, his head swinging with narrow eyed precision to zero in on Jared's open front window. Jared cursed under his breath and threw himself backwards – nearly flattening Sadie in the process of landing on the floor – and then froze in a tangled heap, sure that he had been spotted spying. The seconds ticked by slowly before finally – tortuously – the slow drawl came again from outside and the sound of heavy footfalls began to retreat away from the street towards the house. “Katie-girl, come give your Uncle Chris a kiss, baby. Mean 'ol Uncle Steve's bein' a total killjoy and not givin' me any sugar!”

Jared stayed on the floor for a while, eyeing his ceiling and mentally taking a note to repaint it at some point in the near future as it was looking pretty shabby. He made reassuring noises vaguely in Harley and Sadie's direction when they began to whine and nose inquisitively at him as he lay there, but mainly he tried to fight the huge, triumphant grin spreading across his face because unless one of the two visitors that had shown up was really an incredibly butch woman – and to be fair, with both heads of hair it was a possibility – then the handsome and mysterious Mr Ackles could possibly not be as off limits as previously thought.

Jared punched a victorious fist into the air. “And I'm back in the game!”

~*~*~*

The only trouble with being in a game where someone else was creating all the rules – and not fricking sharing any of them with anyone else – was that you were kinda stalemated all around when the object of your embarrassingly frequent erections kept making like a wraith and resolutely stayed off the playing field.

It was three weeks later and Jared was becoming increasingly desperate – and stalkerish – whilst daddy-dearest remained obstinately absent. As the summer had drawn on, and shooting had wrapped, he had found himself hanging around the house with pathetic frequency and having sighted the kids a grand total of three times but their sire a grand total of none. Either the guy had somehow caught onto Jared's obsession and was deliberately avoiding him or he was amazingly good at picking times to go grocery shopping and take other extended trips when Jared was away from the window – times that were fast being pared down to only pee breaks and runs to the kitchen for food - or asleep.

Jared decided that he was going to handle this maturely and rationally and one Saturday afternoon took himself out into his backyard with a cooler full of cold ones and a lounger and then proceeded to sit and sulk his ass off.

Two hours later he was slightly buzzed from the beers, more than slightly reddened by the sun and then, glory be, he finally got a break. “Kate, I am totally going to kick your ass.” Jared's eyes snapped open and he stared at the cloudless blue sky overhead when the familiar boyish voice floated over the fence.

Ringing with feminine disapproval, Kate's voice followed. “You cussed. I'm telling daddy.”

Jared sat up, silently rooting for the little snitch. You go, girl! You call your daddy right on out here and throw your brother to the wolves!

Unimpressed, Scott snorted. “What-ever. You're just scared I'm gonna beatcha!”

“Am not!” Jared lost all respect for the girl when she was effectively derailed by her sibling's taunt and got her head back in whatever the game was they were starting up. “I can kick your as...butt anytime I like!”

“Nu-uh!” Scott's voice rang with satisfaction. “Prove it!”

No, no, no! Jared silently pleaded. Remember the cussing? Call your daddy, call your daddy now!

He clapped a hand over his eyes in despair when a wordless, girlish growl sounded and was shortly followed by a loud pop and splashing noise. Fickle, fickle females. This was exactly why I turned gay in the first place.

Now sounding a little breathless – and damp – Scott yelled, “Oh, it is on!” and the sounds of a fast and furious water fight began to ring in the summer air.

Jared sat and stared solemnly at Harley and Sadie for a moment, wrestling with his inner Bad!Jared as to whether it would be really so very wrong to spy over the fence on two children playing in the hopes of catching a glimpse of their daddy, and then a water balloon sailed over the fence and landed with a loud splat in the middle of his lawn. He stared at the tattered remains of yellow rubber and then grinned. Well now, that's practically an invitation, isn't it?

He unfolded himself from his lounger and stretched, basking in the sunlight for a moment and then moseyed casually on over to the fence and, equally casually, glanced over. Which would have worked out just fine if Kate hadn't chosen that moment to wind up her arm like freakin' AJ Burnett and pegged him right between his dishonest, spying eyes. “Katie!” Scott's horrified cry completely drowned out his sister's dismayed yelp and Jared took a moment to splutter and choke as he scooped the burst rubber – and his now sopping hair – from his eyes and then looked over the fence again to see the two kids standing frozen in the middle of their yard staring at him with wide, panicked eyes.

All three of them stood frozen for another moment before Scott abruptly broke and dodged in front of his sister, arms spread from his body in a futile bid to hide the girl from Jared's still stunned eyes and tilted his chin in defiant, silent challenge. Jared blinked at the bristling kid for a moment before narrowing his eyes and nodding silently to himself. He turned without saying anything and headed back inside the house, ignoring Harley and Sadie whuffing curiously after him.

Barely a minute later he was back, looking back over the fence to find that the kids still hadn't moved, in fact seemed to have taken root to the spot and were still wide eyed and silent as though appalled down to their very marrow at the turn their water fight had taken. Jared nodded and smiled pleasantly. “Hey, kid?” He frowned at the way the boy tensed up again, small fists clenching at his sides and then hefted the SuperMax Supersoaker 2000 he now held clutched in his hands. He pointed, squeezed the trigger and took great satisfaction in the stunned expression on both little faces when he sprayed them from head to foot. “Now its on.”

~*~*~*~

Ten minutes later and Jared was starting to reconsider the wisdom of engaging in a water fight with the spawn of Satan over the fence because, sweet lord, little kids were mean. Recovering from their shock at Jared's retaliation, Scott and Kate had regrouped and had turned out to be the kind of team that, when working with each other instead of against each other, would have had grown men on their knees and weeping for mercy if allowed into an actual combat situation.

Coincidentally, a position not too far from where Jared was going to be if he didn't work out a way to move from where he was pinned down against the goddamned fence and reload because, Christ, he was getting slaughtered here.

Scott, showing a grasp of tactical maneuvers far beyond his tender years, had boosted his sister up into the tree rooted at the mid-line of both properties and given her a bucket full of balloons with instructions to fire at will and then had armed himself with a garden hose that could have doubled as a piece of riot control equipment and proceeded to spray water over the fence with mind boggling precision considering he couldn't actually see what he was aiming for.

Jared flattened himself back further against the saturated wood and considered his options. He somehow doubted Harley and Sadie could be relied upon to make like Lassie and go for help as they had retreated at the first spray of water over the fence and taken themselves off to dubiously watch the insanity from the safety of the far side of the yard. Jared scowled at them and silently promised retribution in the form of absolutely no treats ever again just as soon as he could make a break for it. Then he caught sight of his abandoned cooler lying by his lawn chair. Full of sweet, sweet melted ice. His face creased in a grim smile. Okay, pick his moment.....

Barely registering that the spray had not only slowed but had actually ceased altogether – along with all sounds of childish glee from next door – he shot to his feet and sprinted to the cooler, scooping out the last remaining beer and then whipping round to sprint back to the fence, zig zagging slightly to dodge the expected balloons that were completely failing to be hurled at him. With a loud rebel yell of triumph he reared up over the top of the fence, brought the cooler to shoulder height and flung the contents with all his might right the at the spot he had judged Scott to be occupying.

And had one brief moment to think “Oh shit.” before the sun warmed water burst gloriously all over a throughly aggrieved looking Jensen Ackles, who stood with his hands on his hips and his two devil children standing sheepishly behind him.

~*~*~*~*~

Much later that evening – when he'd eventually stopped alternately clapping his hands to his face and groaning into them and laughing uncontrollably at the memory of Jensen's creative and shocked cursing at his dousing – Jared finally girded his loins and prepared to make the walk of apologetic shame over to his neighbour's house.

And if those girded loins happened to be clothed in soft, soft denim that faithfully clung to every dip and curve and complemented his tight black torso hugging t-shirt to perfection then that was nobody's business but his.

Leaving Harley and Sadie looking after him with what he chose to believe were encouraging expressions (but really looked more like withering scorn) Jared strode down his path a man on a mission. He had deliberately left his visit until he knew the kids would be in bed – and curse his new found stalkerish hobby that he now knew lights out for the Ackles kids was nine pm every night – and wasn't hoping at all that without the pressure of having to keep an eye on his spawn Jensen might be a little more receptive to friendly overtures.

A wish that, from the look on the man's face when he finally opened his door to Jared's soft knock, looked unlikely to be granted. “What do you want?”

Jared blinked, once again taken aback at the man's stiff manner so completely at odds with his lean good looks. “Hey, look, so I wanted to apologise for this afternoon. I think things probably got a little out of hand and, well, I'm really sorry.”

One perfectly shaped eyebrow rose in disbelief. “I might take that a little more seriously if you weren't grinning like an idiot right now.” Green eyes dropped to what Jared was carrying in his arms and the other eyebrow rose to join the first. “And apparently are still armed.”

Firmly wiping the smile off his face at the memory of Jensen's shocked expression as he had stood dripping in the immediate aftermath of the unfortunate cooler incident, Jared looked down and then shook his head hurriedly. “Oh, hey, no man. I thought, well they're just lying around my place, and well....I thought your kids might make more use out of them. See? Not loaded.” He held out the two Supersoakers left from a brutal water war with Chad the summer before and then reached behind to his back pocket and fished out a much smaller, more traditional water pistol in lurid green. “I even found a small one so the little kid wouldn't feel left out.” He smiled when he caught a brief flash of something in big green eyes and a momentary softening in Jensen's expression and continued gently, “I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to get them into trouble.”

Eyes still on the proffered gifts, Jensen snorted. “Believe me, they got that covered all by themselves.” He looked up and met Jared's smiling eyes and his expression abruptly closed off as suddenly as it had opened. “Look, I appreciate you coming over, but we can't accept these and we really just want to be left al....”

“Alone.” Wearily Jared rolled his eyes. “Yeah, getting' that, what with the whole stealth thing y'all got goin' on since you moved in here. Seriously, dude, are y'all a family of ninja assassins or what? I was beginning to think I'd imagined you moving in here, except for the whole Fort Knox thing you got going on now.”

Jensen startled, his expression flitting too quickly through emotions for Jared to really catalogue them until he finally settled on the last one. Fury. “You've been spying on us? What the hell?” Finally stepping out from behind the door that he had been carefully keeping between them, Jensen advanced on Jared with his fists clenched and blood in his eye. “You've been watching my kids?”

Back pedalling hastily across the porch in the face of Jensen's angry surge forward, Jared made a quick decision and flung the water pistols over his shoulder to land safely on the lawn and held up his hands defensively. “What? No!” He somehow didn't think that adding 'I've been trying to spy on you' would help his case any and hurriedly continued, “Christ, no! Nothing like that, I swear!” He stared down into Jensen's flushed face for a moment, mindful of clenching fists that still looked like they wanted to take a swing, and absently noted that now the first moment of anger had passed Jensen looked more panicked than anything else. “I swear, man, that's just....icky. I'm just tryin' to be neighbourly here.”

Intense green eyes burned into him for a moment, leaving Jared feeling like he had been stripped bare to his very soul, and then Jensen took a step back, his face now filled with confusion. “Why?” His eyes stayed locked with Jared's for a moment before he dropped his gaze and took another step away, back towards the sanctuary of his home. “We just want to be left alone.”

Jared frowned at the almost plaintive tone of voice and cocked his head, really looking at Jensen for the first time instead of just thinking 'Wow, hot!”. A tall man by most standards, but not by Jared's, he was certainly built but in a different way to Jared's now, finally, proportionate bulk. Everything about him seemed streamlined from his sharp enough to cut diamonds cheekbones to his....oh, okay, slim and hellishly sexy bare feet. Jared dragged his eyes up muscular denim clad legs and past the faded, washed to hell t-shirt and then looked at what he could now see was a tired and weary face. Bruises under those stunning eyes stood starkly out against pale skin and Jensen's well shaped mouth was pinched and tense as he stood looking up at Jared with wary suspicion. Feeling not just a low punch of arousal in his groin but a solid smack of tenderness to his heart as well, Jared spread his hands soothingly and found himself instinctively pitching his voice to the low tones he used with Harley and Sadie in a storm and they huddled in on themselves whining for reassurance. “I swear, I was just trying to be friendly.” He smiled and resisted leaping back towards the house when Jensen scowled and looked like he was about to bolt, adding hurriedly, “And besides, they started it. Your girl's got a hell of an arm on her.”

At the admiring mention of his daughter, Jensen paused in yet another cautious step back into the house and shot Jared a startled look. “She has?”

“Uh-huh.” Seeing, for the moment, that he had halted the retreat, Jared nodded and took a small step forwards, feeling absurdly like he was trying to tame some kind of wild creature. “Pegged me like she was stepping up for the Yankees or something.” He tilted his head to catch the lightening fast smile on Jensen's face when he ducked his head and felt confident enough to take another step forward. “And your boy's not so bad, either. Makes a hell of a field officer.”

Eyes a little confused like he wasn't used to people taking an interest in him or his kids, Jensen stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and muttered in the direction of the floor, “He said they were winning.”

Jared barked an explosive laugh. “Dude, are you kidding me? I was getting killed out there!” He grinned widely when Jensen looked up in startled surprise at the delighted tone of his voice and shrugged wryly, inviting the smaller man to share the joke. “Seriously, I was pretty much expecting them to go get the baby, strap him into a 'chute and fire the sucker over the damn fence for an air attack next.”

And if Jared thought that Jensen was hot when he was being angry and defensive, then it was nothing to the overwhelming hotness of an honest to goodness full blown smile, eyes shining with pride at the praise for his devious, spiteful, mean, mean kids. Jared sucked in a breath and decided right then and there that he wasn't given up on trying to weasel his way into Jensen's life and bed until he had a signed affidavit from three different people swearing to his heterosexuality and possibly a note from his mom excusing him from hot, sweaty, gay sex too.

And so far he'd only found one chink in his distressingly solid armour to aid him.

“How old are they anyway?” Looking as non-threatening and harmless as a six foot four, two hundred pound man could look, Jared backed away to perch on the porch rail and fixed a pleasantly interested smile on his face. “Eleven, Twelve?”

Puzzlement briefly creasing his face at the continued interest – and tragically wiping the wide smile away – Jensen looked at Jared for a long moment before answering reluctantly, “Scott's eight and Kate's seven.”

Jared resisted the urge to howl in mortification. “Aw, dude, I got totally spanked by a couple of infants?” His entire face fell. “Oh my God, this can never be spoken of again. I'll never live it down!”

Jensen was obviously fighting – and losing – a battle against mirth and his mouth was doing the cutest little twitching thing as he tried desperately not to smile at Jared's horror. He edged forward slightly and hesitated for a moment before confiding, “Just be grateful they didn't get Danny. He bites.”

Still lost in a sea of humiliation, Jared looked mournfully up through his bangs. “How old is he?”

Jensen's mouth twitched again. “Nearly three.”

Playing the fool for all he was worth – and delighted to note that Jensen was once more out on the porch and not hovering uncertainly in his doorway – Jared groaned dramatically and pointed a finger at the unknowing object of his considerable lust. “Christ, a fetus! Okay, next time, you're on my side. They are devils, man, and I can't take them on my own!”

Startled, Jensen frowned. “Next time? There's not going to be a next time.”

Jared leaned forward and fixed him with an earnest stare. “Dude, I got killed by munchkins. That cannot go unanswered.” His face lit up with an unholy grin and he hopped off his perch with a hoot of excitement. “And I know just where to get my weapon of choice. Tomorrow, my place, around three. Bring the spawn.” He bounced down the porch steps and turned to look at Jensen, standing frozen in place with his mouth hanging open. “I'll fire up the grill and we'll have a cookout. Later, dude!”

Jensen blinked rapidly as though he wasn't sure what had just hit him – although it felt like a truck - and protested weakly. “They're not spawn!”

Making it onto the sidewalk, Jared raised an airy hand in acknowledgement and yelled cheerfully back, “Nope, they're toast. And they are going down.”

~*~*~*~

The next morning Jared leapt out of bed and, with military precision, started to plan his day and crush whatever any ideas Jensen might have of weaseling out of the planned afternoon of fun. Under no illusions about his somewhat enthusiastic approach to life in general, and how others simply bent their heads to the wind and allowed themselves to be carried along with the enthusiasm, Jared was willing to bet that Jensen's first thought when he had risen that morning was how to get out of the 'date' and avoid all further contact with him now Jared wasn't steamrolling directly over him.

Which so, so wasn't happening.

The dogs let out and fed, Jared sauntered into his living room and snatched up the cordless phone before taking up his now familiar post at his window. “Chad, dude!” The plaintive and pathetic sounds of Chad Michael Murray being not very happy at being woken with a severe hangover at, oops, nine thirty on a Sunday morning floated down the phone line. Jared grinned, ignored the whimpered expletives from his friend and continued to stare over to Jensen's front yard. “Man, I need a favour.” He raised an unsympathetic eyebrow when it sounded like Chad actually started to cry and then continued mercilessly, “Can't leave the house but I need some errands ran. Like now.”

And laughed out loud when Chad swore viciously at him and then began to throw up.

~*~*~*

Jared was greatly impressed that Jensen managed to hold out till nearly noon before making a break for it. He was even more amused that the whole damn family were sneaking down their path like the ninjas he'd accused them of being the night before, although Scott and Kate did look decidedly baffled as to what they were actually doing and why, as opposed to their father who just looked hunted.

Jared jumped up, shoved a careless hand through his hair and then bounded out his front door. “Mornin' neighbours!” He grinned at the look of utter dismay on Jensen's face when he spun around from where he had been trying to unlock his truck and hold onto Danny at the same time and waved cheerfully to the two older kids. “Hey, spawn!”

Scott scowled and looked up at his dad warily, “Is he talking to us?”

“Yup!” Having come close enough to hear the low question thanks to the six loping strides it had taken him to cross his lawn, Jared nodded and waggled his fingers at an open mouthed Danny who was staring incredulously at him like he couldn't believe his eyes. “Hey there, little guy.” He switched his beaming grin on the two older children, pretending not to notice when Kate looked mildly worried and Scott stepped protectively in front of her with another fierce scowl. “Hey, you lookin' forward to this afternoon? Its going to be a blast, right?”

Jensen frowned and moved forwards, still clutching his son and shaking his head. “Look, about that....”

Feeling not the slightest bit guilty, Jared totally ignored him and raised his voice to speak right over him. “You guys would not believe the stuff I have comin'. I am totally going to cream you this time.” He nodded towards a speechless Jensen and added with a wink, “Well, me and your dad over there.”

Scott's eyes darted uncertainly between his father and Jared. “Dad? What's he talking about?”

“Oh man, you haven't told them yet?” Jared grinned sunnily and blithely disregarded the venomous look that Jensen shot him over Danny's fair head. He switched the grin to Scott and Kate. “Only the water fight to end all water fights. The battle to end all battles. Epic. Huge. And then we barbeque!”

Taken aback, Scott blinked at him. “We're coming over to your house?”

Jensen jerked like someone had flicked a switch and said firmly, “No!”

“Yup!” Jared nodded, still cheerfully ignoring the lust of his life. “And I have dogs. Hey, you want to meet them?” He turned and whistled towards the open door of his house, signalling the dogs it was alright to come out. “Now they're pretty big but don't let that scare you. They're just like me, wouldn't hurt a fly.”

He turned look at Jensen just in time to see the man's eyes widen in disbelief when Harley and Sadie shot out the door and came heading straight for them. “Holy fucking Christ!” Jensen hoisted Danny higher against him and reached out frantically for his other children. “Get back here, kids.”

Kate ignored the order and frowned reprovingly at her father, seemingly unconcerned by the two huge canines bearing down on her helpless little frame. “Daddy, you cussed. You said you weren't going to say any more bad words if we couldn't.” She pushed Harley's head away when the dog skidded to a halt by her and enthusiastically licked her face and her father's eyes bugged in alarm. “G'way dog, you stink. Daddy, say sorry.”

Daddy did not want to say sorry. Daddy looked like he wanted to have a heart attack at the sight of his precious baby girl being nuzzled by something the size of a freakin' bear. “Kate, get away from that thing!”

Jared rolled his eyes and nudged Harley's butt with his knee to stop the licking. “Chill out, man, they love kids.”

“Yeah, roasted or raw?” Jensen didn't stop trying to pull his daughter behind him despite the girl herself obstinately dodging all attempts and glaring up at her father still, apparently, waiting for her apology. “Scott! Get over here!”

Jared looked over his shoulder and laughed when he saw Sadie had brought out her ball with her and was now crouched eyeball to eyeball with the young boy, wagging her tail and just waiting for the moment when he would release it and she could give chase. Scott, god bless his easily distracted eight year old little brain, didn't take his eyes off the dog and tightened his grip on the ball. “Be there in a minute, dad.”

Jared turned to a flushed and panicked looking Jensen with a triumphant grin and raised his voice to make sure both kids heard. “So you'll be there, right? They can play with the dogs, have an epic water fight and eat some good ol' fashion barbeque food. Plus, I got all kinds of other cool things lined up. It'll be a party.”

Eyes darting frantically between his kids, the huge dogs and the even more huge guy that somehow managed to turn his day to absolute chaos every time he showed his face, Jensen stuttered, “I, no, I....” He looked down when he felt a tugging on his pants leg and met the excited eyes of his daughter – and then shuddered when the thing that looked like a baby elephant placed its huge, fang filled, ferocious head of doom on her shoulder and also looked up at him with soulful eyes. Or was possibly eyeing Danny as an appetiser, he wasn't sure.

“Daddy, a party? For us?” Kate's face was filled with an open kind of wonder that he hadn't seen there in far too long. He watched as she turned her head and fixed Jared with a look filled with a desperate, frantic hope. “Will there be pink stuff there too? Not just boy stuff? Stuff for just me?”

Jared grinned and said without hesitation, “Honey, for you I'd colour the whole damn lawn pink.”

And the minute the soft sigh of awe left his daughter's lips, Jensen knew he was sunk. He looked up and met Jared's expectant expression with one of utter defeat. “We'll be there at three.”

Eyes dancing, Jared nodded. “Awesome.”

~*~*~*~

At five minutes to three everything was finally ready. As soon as he exacted the promise of attendance from Jensen in front of his children - instinctively knowing that Jensen would duck him in a heartbeat but would never go back on a promise to his babies – Jared had beaten feet to join a still hungover Chad out running his errands and to buy up all on his suddenly much extended list of necessities for his party.

Chad - pale, sweating and cursing Jared with every shallow breath left in him – had none the less proved what an excellent friend he was was when chips were down and your back was against the wall, because who else would brave Wall Mart on a Sunday morning, two steps away from death and purchase a Slip 'n' Slide, a trampoline, a water canon, a small ball pool, a paddling pool and – after a hasty phone call from Jared – the biggest, pinkest Barbie playhouse he could find.

And then drag his ass back across town with his insane, stalkery, lust crazed friend to set it all up without questioning why he was doing all this in the first place.

Jared honestly believed that Chad was possibly the best human being he had ever met some days. When informed of this Chad snarled, flipped him the bird and trudged back out the door a broken man to go home and die in peace.

Jared pointed a finger at his dogs watching him silently from beside his large plasma flat screen. “And you two behave. You act nice. We're tryin' to make a good impression here.” The dogs eyed him and then seemed to exchange looks that, to Jared, seemed to say quite eloquently 'Too late for that, pal!' Jared sighed and shoved a hand through his unruly hair again, trying to take deep steady breath in a bid to quell the horrible butterflies in his stomach. “I look okay, right? Not like I tried too hard?”

The dogs stared at him with doggy blankness, probably wondering where their nice sane owner had disappeared to and why he had left a freaky pod person in his place who apparently thought dogs could talk.

Jared glowered. “Great help you are.” He jumped when a knock sounded at the door and the dogs raised their heads enquiringly. “Stay!”

Sadie and Harley stared at him looking mighty offended for two supposedly dumb animals, managing to convey that although their owner had gone completely crazy they hadn't and also still remembered their manners and training, thank you very much.

Jared nodded. “Right. Sorry.” He took a final deep breath and then strode to the door and tugged it open. “Hey guys.”

Jensen and the kids stood on his doorstep, Scott and his father wearing almost identical looks of sullen suspicion, Kate bouncing excitedly on her toes and Danny watching him shyly from his perch in Jensen's arms. Looking as unenthusiastic as it was possible to get, Jensen nodded. “Hey.”

“Come on in.” His eyes fell down to the two large bags at Jensen's feet and he raised an eyebrow in query. “Or is this just a courtesy visit to let me know you're actually fleeing the country?”

Jensen's face creased in a defensive scowl. “Kids need stuff. I wasn't sure what you had.”

“Oh, hey, right.” Jared nodded wisely and reached for the bags. “Let me help you with those.” He pulled his hand back when Scott all but shoved him aside and grabbed the bags himself. “Or you could get them. That works too.”

“I know what to do.” Glaring, Scott shoved past him and dumped the bags by the couch, eyes narrowed with completely uncalled for belligerence – right up until the moment he noticed the TV. “Oh man!”

A little taken aback by the kid's defaulting back to his pissy attitude, Jared grinned at the sudden look of awe on the boy's face. “I know, right?” He stuck his thumbs in his belt loops and sauntered casually across to join the little punk. “Dude, the only way to play Mario, I swear.”

Practically drooling on the carpet he was so excited, Scott finally noticed the line of games consoles lined up next to the TV. “Wii, Xbox and Playstation? That is so cool!”

“You're not telling me anything I don't know, buddy.” Leaving Scott to practically dry hump the TV and surrounding goodies, Jared moseyed back on across to where Jensen and the other two devil spawn were still standing awkwardly in the doorway. “Come on, get in here.” He herded a reluctant Jensen before him and then crouched down on Kate's level and flicked the tip of her nose. She giggled. “Okay, princess, you wanted pink, right?”

Staring at him with shining eyes, Kate nodded. “And sparkles. There has to be lots of sparkles.”

“Kate!” Looking mortified, Jensen spoke sharply to his daughter, “That's rude. Mr Pala...Palde....uh....”

Jared snorted and winked at the little girl. “Just stick with Jared. And you, baby, are not rude. You read my mind exactly and you know just what a good party needs to get it started. You come on out here with me.” He looked up at a noise from Jensen and quirked a curious eyebrow at the look of panic on his face before he could hide it. “S'cool, buddy, you can come play too.” He stood and took Kate's hand, giving her a reassuring squeeze when she hung shyly back. “C'mon, its worth it I promise.”

Whistling for the dogs, working on the theory that they'd made a pretty good ice breaker before and probably would still service now, he led the little group out onto his deck and swept his arm to indicate his much changed yard. “So, this work for you?” His grin stretched from ear to ear at Kate's resulting shriek of delight and he looked down into Jensen's stunned expression with eyes dancing with satisfaction. “Guess so.”

part 2

~*~*~*~